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THE OFFICIAL
NO CATS, NO CHOCOLATE PRESS
RELEASE
Alan Russell is
calling it the "Ken Is Not Dead Tour."
Ken Kuhlken is calling it
the "Alan May be a Maniac but He's Not Homicidal Tour."
Ken and
Alan are back.
Many of you (all right, one or two of you) might
remember Ken and Alan's hilarious ROAD KILL that detailed their adventures
while on their "international" mystery book-signing tour.
NO CATS, NO CHOCOLATE continues the adventure
in a limited edition book, with a print run of only one thousand numbered
copies. Ken and Alan agree on only one thing: "It's a damn good
investment."
"If you want to make your heirs rich," says Ken, "buy
the book. In a hundred years one of these copies of NO CATS, NO CHOCOLATE
will be worth about as much as a Gutenberg Bible. And if you don't care
about your heirs, quit being cheap and buy the book anyway."
The
reaction to this book from other writers is unanimous. Here's what they're
saying:
Reserve a Special Place in your House for this One!
"Some books have a revered spot on your bookshelves. I have another
spot in mind for this book, the same place where I put all books written
by Kuhlken and Russell. It's going right next to the spare roll on the
shelf behind the toilet." - Michael Connelly, bestselling author of THE
NARROWS
Looking for a Great Book? "If you're like me, you
are always looking for a great book. Well, I am afraid you'll have to keep
looking. Mind you, NO CATS, NO CHOCOLATE is not a bad book; it is a truly
awful book." - John Lescroart, bestselling author of THE SECOND CHAIR
In a League of their Own! "In my life I
have met and associated with many people that don't fit in with mainstream
society. I have written about bikers, and outlaws, and drug addled
psychopaths. Let me tell you, those desperados are nothing compared to
Kuhlken and Russell. When it comes to creepiness, these two are in a
league of their own. Avoid mind pollution! Don't read their words." -
Barbara Seranella, bestselling author of UNWILLING
ACCOMPLICE
There is Nothing like Kuhlken and Russell in the
Zodiac! "There are few people like Russell and Kuhlken in this world,
and that is a very good thing. I have seen some bad auras in my time, but
never such dark clouds as hover over them. The only other auras I have
seen similar to theirs belong to Charlie Manson, John Wayne Gacy, and most
of the members of Congress." - Martha Lawrence, bestselling author of
ASHES OF ARIES
The Scientific Community Is in Agreement!
"There are few subjects upon which the scientific community is in
agreement, and the science fiction community is just as fractious.
However, when it comes to Russell and Kuhlken we all concur: We hope they
fall into a wormhole, end up on the other side of a distant galaxy, and
are never heard from again!" - David Brin, bestselling author of THE
POSTMAN
On My Top Ten List! "My biggest regret in retiring
from the FBI is that I can't put these two jokers behind bars. Kuhlken and
Russell's NO CATS, NO CHOCOLATE, is the latest of many frauds they've
perpetuated on an unsuspecting American public. I wouldn't be surprised if
one day a lynch mob stormed one of their signings, and neither would I be
surprised if law enforcement turned a blind eye to the people's justice."
- Gene Riehl, bestselling author of QUANTICO RULES
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